You bought the supplements – that you forget to take. You signed up for the gym – that you never go to. You stocked your kitchen with all the “right” foods – but oh man the prep, the recipes… it’s tough.

So why isn’t anything sticking even though you keep trying?

Here’s the truth: You’re not failing. You’re recognizing that you want something more, to do more, be more, feel more. And that’s a win.

Every step you take—every attempt, every effort, every “I’m going to try this”—is proof of something important:

You want something better for yourself.

That’s fuel. That’s motivation. But somewhere between wanting change and actually making it happen, we get caught in the all-or-nothing trap. It’s the trap that keeps telling us we’re not doing it right, it won’t work, and it’s too hard.

This post is about breaking out of that cycle—so wellness stops feeling like something we keep failing at and starts feeling like something we actually live.

Why the ‘All or Nothing’ Mindset Is Keeping You Stuck

If you’ve ever thought…

❌ “I already ate something ‘unhealthy,’ so the whole day is ruined.”
❌ “I missed a workout, so I might as well start over on Monday.”
❌ “If I can’t do it perfectly, what’s the point?”

Then you’ve been caught in the all-or-nothing trap.

And you’re not alone. We all have. To use one of my son’s favorite words, it’s a “sneaker” (for the uninitiated that’s what he calls a ghost in his game). Basically, our self-defeating thoughts are sneaking and lurking around just waiting for the chance to prove we failed, so let’s just stay safe by not trying…

But here’s the problem: If we believe anything less than perfect is failure, then we’re always starting over.

Here’s what actually happens when you stop thinking of wellness as a pass/fail test:

✅ Skipping one workout doesn’t undo your progress. As a matter of fact, getting right back to it proves your commitment and dedication to your health.

✅ Eating one donut doesn’t erase the other nourishing meals you’ve had. It simply shows how well you can balance your overall nutritional profile without depriving yourself of something a little indulgent here and there.

✅ Doing something is always better than doing nothing. You already know this part is true.

Wellness isn’t an on/off switch. It’s a dimmer switch—small adjustments add up.

The Shift from Perfection to Progress (Without Feeling Like You’re Failing)

We think we need to be all in for change to happen.

But real wellness? It happens in the small, imperfect, in-between moments.

Here’s how to shift your mindset from “all or nothing” to “small steps count”:

🚫 Instead of: “I have to do everything.”
✅ Try: “What’s one thing I can do today?”

🚫 Instead of: “I keep failing because I can’t stick with things.”
✅ Try: “I’ve already taken steps—what’s one thing I can keep doing?”

🚫 Instead of: “If I can’t do it perfectly, I shouldn’t do it at all.”
✅ Try: “What’s one small way I can move toward my goal, even if it’s messy?”

Changing your mind and shifting gears isn’t failure either.

So yeah, I had 3 months worth of a daily supplement regimen sitting on the shelf… of which I had taken about half from one bottle before I quit. Was I wrong to buy it? Did I fail? No. 

I learned that I wasn’t ready for that level of commitment. I wasn’t used to doing something daily, even something as seemingly simple as taking a few supplements. Why? Because I felt as though I needed to do all the other things too, drink more water, reduce my sugars and up my fat (personal to me) and because I couldn’t make that huge of a commitment all at once, I didn’t do one of the simpler things.

Here’s what I learned though, I needed to meet myself where I was and be okay with that. I needed to accept that doing just one thing, consistently, was good enough because habits stack. And I only needed one to start with.

So, did I eventually take the supplements? Yes. Did it lead to more healthy habits? Yes, it did.

Mini-Coaching Moment: One Small, Stress-Free Shift to Make This Week

Forget overhauling your life. Let’s start where you are.

Pick one of these small shifts based on what you need most:

🌿 If you feel exhausted…
→ Give yourself one 5-minute break just for you this week.

🥗 If you feel guilty about your eating habits…
→ Focus on adding one nourishing meal or snack instead of restricting.

🏃 If you feel overwhelmed by “getting healthy”…
→ Choose one habit to start with—and let go of the pressure to do everything else.

Wellness Isn’t an ‘All or Nothing’ Game—It’s a Life

You don’t have to “start over” on Monday.

You don’t have to do it perfectly.

You just have to keep going.

Trying isn’t failing—it’s progress.