A modern-day mother gently comforting her angry son, who leans into her support. The mother appears calm yet tired, reflecting strength and resilience amidst the challenges of parenting.

How can I become a stronger parent for my autistic child?

January 23, 2025

Resilience: Finding Strength When Parenting Feels Impossible

The Strength You Don’t Know You Have

Some days feel endless, don’t they? Those days that leave you parked in the school lot, tears streaming down your face because it’s been four weeks of agonizing school drop offs and your child’s separation anxiety is showing no signs of improvement.

Or staring blankly at the clock at 3 a.m., whispering a prayer under your breath while you tightly cling to your child to stop them from hurting themselves during a fit.

Or feeling your cheeks flush with rage, or embarrassment, when every stranger seems to pass judgement on not just your child’s behavior, but your parenting skills too.

You think, I can’t keep doing this.

And yet, somehow, you do.

As parents of autistic children, we often find ourselves running on empty, certain we’ve reached our breaking point—only to discover a strength we didn’t know we had. This post is about that strength. Where it comes from, how to recognize it, and how to rely on it when life feels like too much.

The Moments That Break Us (and Build Us)

Parenting an autistic child isn’t linear. It’s a journey of highs, lows, and everything in between. In those overwhelming moments, when the world feels heavy and unmanageable, you’re not alone.

1. When You Feel Like You’ve Got Nothing Left to Give
It’s the end of a long day, and your child is overwhelmed, melting down over something as small as the wrong pajamas. You’ve been running on fumes, haven’t eaten, and you just want to give up.
- The Truth: Somehow, you find the strength to stay present—to soothe, to guide, to love. To conjure yet another round of energy out of thin air and be there, for as long as your child needs.
2. When the Same Battles Feels Endless
Another meal goes uneaten. Another texture is rejected. Another phone call from the school ends in disappointment. Your thoughts hyper fixate on, “I just can’t.”
- The Truth: You dig deep, you know there’s a path through this. Your love for your child is greater than your exhaustion, greater than the struggles you both face. And you’re ready to try it all again tomorrow.
3. When You Face the Unknown
Therapy evaluations, school IEP meetings, medical appointments—so much of your experience as a parent revolves around diagnoses, recommendations, and pushback. Everyone hears you, yet no one seems to be listening and solid answers are few and far between.
- The Truth: You find resilience in advocating for your child, learning as you go, and doing everything in your power to support them. You don’t settle, you never settle.

Finding Your Strength: What Keeps You Going?

That strength you keep finding? That hidden resolve, the superhuman power you possess to carry yourself forward as you carry the world for your child… It’s there for a reason.

Here’s how to begin recognizing and cultivating it:

Name It

Ask yourself: What drives me in these moments? Is it love? Determination? Hope? Naming your strength gives it power to help you. Learn from it. It’s a part of you, embrace it closely.
Reflect on
Your Why

Your child is your greatest motivator, but your own well-being matters too. Reflect on the big picture—what you’re building for them, for yourself, and for your family. Think beyond the moments you experience and dig deeper for a vision of what these moments can become.

You’re surviving now, but you’re also striving for something more. Lean on your strength for guidance and paint that picture.
Acknowledge Your Wins

Small victories count. You stayed calm during a meltdown. You tried a new strategy, even if it didn’t work perfectly. Recognize these moments as proof of your resilience. No one but you experiences your struggles the way you do, give yourself permission to celebrate even the smallest of successes. They will build on each other.

Cultivating Strength: How to Build and Rely on It

1. Build a Support Network

Support your strength by not doing it all alone. Whether it’s a partner, a friend, or an online community, lean on those who understand and encourage you. We all need a sense of community, to feel seen and understood, and supported. Find yours.

2. Find Anchors in Your Day

Create small rituals that ground you: a morning affirmation, a cup of tea after bedtime, or five minutes of quiet reflection. When done consciously and with intention, these moments refill your emotional reserves. You need this, throughout the day. Find what works for you and commit to it.

3. Practice Self-Compassion

Strength isn’t about perfection. It’s about trying, failing, and trying again. Remind yourself that you’re doing enough—and that you are enough. Your child loves you as you are, you need to love yourself too.

4. Rest When You Can

Prioritize sleep. Resilience is impossible without rest. And rest isn’t just about sleep—it’s about restorative sleep. There’s a difference between collapsing into bed from sheer exhaustion and giving your body the deep, healing rest it needs.

Restorative sleep fuels your body and mind on a cellular level, helping you recharge, regulate emotions, and approach challenges with renewed strength. Prioritizing this kind of rest might mean setting boundaries, asking for help, or creating a calming bedtime routine—but it’s an investment in your resilience and well-being.

Mini-Coaching Moment: Reclaim Your Strength

Take a moment to reflect:

What word identifies your strength? Write it down and read it every day.
What’s one small ritual or habit you can incorporate daily to help ground yourself?
What’s one past moment where you found strength when you thought you had none?

Your strength is always with you—it just needs space to shine.

Strength in the Everyday

Every day, you show up. Even when it’s hard, even when you don’t feel strong, you find a way. That’s not just resilience—it’s extraordinary.

So the next time you’re facing another struggle, fighting back tears, or thinking you just can’t do this anymore, remember: you’ve already found strength so many times before. And you will again.

Portrait of Janel, founder of Nourish Nurture Thrive, smiling warmly.

Janel Stewart

As a mom to twin superheroes with autism, certified health coach, and recovering perfectionist, I know the overwhelm you’re feeling and I’m here to help.

Together, let’s reclaim your health, balance, and joy in parenting.

Let’s Begin