A mother and her child laughing together outdoors on a crisp fall day, sharing a joyful moment surrounded by autumn leaves.

When Did Joy Become Optional?

March 4, 2025

Rediscovering Joy as a Parent (and why it matters more than you think)

Somewhere along the way, many of us got the idea that joy is a luxury. That it’s something we can put on the shelf while we handle more important things—like schedules, responsibilities, and making sure everyone else’s needs are met first.

I know this because I’ve done it.

For the longest time, I believed that if I stripped away the things that brought me joy—the hobbies, the little indulgences, the moments that felt just for me—then somehow, I was proving my worth. I was being responsible. I was doing the “right” thing as a parent.

But let me tell you something that took me way too long to learn:

A miserable parent serves their children in no way, shape, or form.

A joyful parent, on the other hand? That’s a game-changer.

But when you’ve spent so long without prioritizing joy, it can feel like an abstract concept. Where do you even start?

This post is here to help. We’re going to dig into:

Why parents lose their joy (and how it sneaks up on us).
The powerful impact joy has on your mind, body, and parenting.
How to rediscover what truly brings you joy in this season of life.
Simple exercises to help you start finding (and feeling) joy again.

Because joy isn’t extra. It’s essential. And you deserve it.

Why Parents Lose Their Joy (And How It Sneaks Up on Us)

Joy doesn’t disappear overnight. It fades—little by little—under the weight of responsibility, exhaustion, and the relentless pull of shoulds.

Here’s how it happens:

You have too much to do and too little time. By the time you’ve handled everything (kids, work, house, life), there’s nothing left for you.
You feel guilty for taking time for yourself. You tell yourself that joy is a nice-to-have—but not a necessity.
Your identity has shifted. What used to bring you joy doesn’t quite fit anymore, but you haven’t found what does.
You’re in a constant state of worry. There’s always something to think about, plan for, or fix. How are you supposed to feel joy when your mind never stops?

The problem? Without joy, life becomes all about survival instead of actually living.

And that’s not just draining—it’s unsustainable.

The Science of Joy—What It Does for Your Mind, Body, and Parenting

Joy isn’t just a nice feeling. It has a real, measurable impact on your mental, emotional, and physical health—and your parenting.

Joy and Your Mental Health
- Helps prevent burnout by reducing stress hormones.
- Increases resilience, helping you bounce back faster from hard days.
- Shifts your mindset, making frustrations feel more manageable.
Joy and Your Physical Health
- Lowers stress-related inflammation in the body.
- Boosts immune function (yes, joy actually helps you get sick less!).
- Improves energy levels by reducing chronic fatigue.
Joy and Your Parenting
- Kids mirror our emotions—when we’re stressed, they feel it. When we’re joyful, they feel that too.
- A joyful parent is more present, patient, and engaged—which strengthens the parent-child bond.
- Joy creates a home environment where laughter, ease, and connection thrive.

Redefining Joy—Finding What Fills You Up Today

One of the biggest mistakes we make is assuming that joy should come from the same things it always has.

But the truth? Joy evolves.

Maybe you used to love painting, but now it feels like one more thing to do. Maybe reading fiction was your escape, but now you struggle to focus long enough to enjoy it.

That doesn’t mean you’re broken. It means your joy needs to be rediscovered.

So what brings you joy today?

For me, joy now looks like:

Playing outside with my kids (even when I don’t feel like it at first).
Spending time alone in nature (with no agenda, just being present).
Cooking something new—just for me. No expectations, no pressure.

For you, joy might be:

A deep conversation with a friend.
A creative outlet that’s just for fun.
A group, cause, or activity that lights you up.
30 uninterrupted minutes giving your child your full, undivided attention—soaking in the moment instead of rushing to the next thing.

Joy can be big. But more often than not, it’s in the small things we overlook.

Mini-Coaching Moment: Your Personal Joy Reboot

Ready to start bringing joy back into your life? Let’s do a little self-check-in.

Step 1: The Joy Inventory
Think back—what used to bring you joy? Do those things still resonate, or is it time to explore something new?

Step 2: The Joy Audit
Look at your week. Are there any moments of pure joy? If not, what’s stopping you? (Be honest here.)

Step 3: The Joy Experiment
Pick one small thing that brings you joy and commit to doing it this week. No guilt. No excuses. Just one act of joy for you.

Joy Isn’t a Luxury—It’s a Parenting Essential

Let’s get one thing straight:

You deserve joy.

Not just because it makes you feel better (though it does). Not just because it helps your health (though it does that too).

But because a joyful parent creates a joyful home.

And if you take away one thing from this post, let it be this: Your joy matters.

Portrait of Janel, founder of Nourish Nurture Thrive, smiling warmly.

Janel Stewart

As a mom to twin superheroes with autism, certified health coach, and recovering perfectionist, I know the overwhelm you’re feeling and I’m here to help.

Together, let’s reclaim your health, balance, and joy in parenting.

Let’s Begin